Marketing Guru brokers Historic Deal for Hearts; Club whet Fans Appetite ahead of Official Announcement

📰PARODY SPORTS NEWS📰

Please be informed that the story below is pure fiction intended only for comic effect.

Just when sworn rivals Kumasi Asante Kotoko thought they had pulled a big one over the Continental Club masters, Accra Hearts of Oak countered their effort and proved why they are indeed “the Masters.”

Asante Kotoko on Thursday January 14, tweeted about an imminent partnership deal with an English Premier League side.

This announcement generated incredible buzz amongst the red army faithfuls as they celebrated what is believed to be a good news.

According to sources, the EPL club is suspected to be Southampton Football Club.

It is believed that, the deal, when finalised, will see the Saints set up an academy in Kumasi to groom young soccer talents and also see the porcupine warriors benefit financially.

But internationally acclaimed marketer on the opposite side, Mr. B.C. Adamafio decided to make “yawa” the supposed good news from the Kotoko camp.

Mr. Adamafio, who’s been in the marketing and sponsorship business for well over two decades now, was charged by the board of Accra Hearts of Oak to secure an international partnership for the club too just for “sheygey reasons.”

Mr. Adamafio, ONLY five minutes after his new assignment, was able to secure, sign, seal and deliver what is now the biggest partnership ever in the history of world football, to the amazement of Torgbui Afede and his board members.

According to the mastermind, he used his influence to “mello Ed Woodward” of Manchester United who “couldn’t help but bow one-time.”

“For us here at Manchester United, it is our greatest honour to associate ourselves with the Oak Tree family and the Continental club masters.” an elated Mr. Woodward said.

An announcement has since been made to the United playing body which has started wild jubilation in the camp.

This fever is expected to spur the league leaders to victory in match day 18 away at Anfield on Sunday to extend their lead on top of the table.

According to MUFCTV, playmaker Bruno Fernandes is relishing a visit to the West Africa nation already.

PARTNERSHIP DETAILS:

When it takes effect, the deal will see the Red Devils club construct a fully funded similar stadium as Old Trafford for the Phobians at Pobiman. Man United will also assist Hearts build an academy to nurture Aroras talents.

Hearts who will also make financial gains will have their management and technical team members, from time to time, travel to Manchester for training and refresher programs.

Outstanding Hearts players will have the opportunity to go for trials, loan deals and permanent move to the English giants.

To return the favour, Ghana’s oldest existing football club will welcome some United players to improve them.

Out-of-form Frenchman, Anthony Martial and suddenly wasteful Marcus Rashford will be joining the capital based Club to understudy prolific striker and WAFU winner Daniel Banieh Afriyie to sharpen their scoring skills and learn how to win trophies.

Left back Luke Shaw will receive master tactics from Raddy Ovouka, the maestro.

Skipper Harry Maguire who completes the list of mancunian players joining the Rainbow family, will be tutored by fellow skipper Moh Alhassan on how to build a stone wall in defence and keep it standing and also how to slide.

“We are so excited we just can’t explain it. Those legends at Hearts are our role models and we can’t wait to be in Ghana already. We believe we will come back ten times better.”

“Accra Hearts of Oak is a very special club with an incredible history.” said the United players.

The 1911 Club is deeply grateful to Mr. Adamafio for the historic achievement.

Consequently, statues of Mr. Adamafio will be erected both here in Ghana and in the UK in his honour.

*NB: B.C. Adamafio is just a diehard fan of Accra Hearts of Oak. 😂

Just for laughs

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